The blackhat fish tank

Anyways, I have just had this dream and it was weird:
I wake up one morning and try to log on gmail and it redirects to the home page of Google but looks like this.
blackhat fish tank
So anyways, here is the nonsense coming up, pay no attention, this is only a test
I was like wtf and turn on the tv and it’s all about “Breaking news, google got hacked”.
Then I stop at cnn where like there is the moderator with 4 screens behind. First Is Matt Cutts who looks stressed, second is Doug Heil who has like a weapon collection behind him on the wall, 3rd Danny Sullivan who forgot to remove the bag of weed next to his monitor before the interview started and then Sergey Brin who looked like he was coming down from a 3 day coke binge. Like one eye stayed wide open thruout the interview while the other one kept blinking for no reason.
so basically the reporter asks Sergey what happened and Sergey start drinking out of a big glass of something while Matt answers for him saying “We had glitches since update Flipper and its nothing to worry about”.
Doug keeps saying “Bullshit, shoot those bastards” and Danny is like “It will be alright dudes, no stress”.
While Matt is sitting there trying to talk, his cat jumps in the fish tank and tears one of those things to pieces and suddenly we see Sergey starting to puke and collapse and that was the end of the show.

How weird is that?

OK lemme go on:

Google shuts down for 4 days, unplugged. Like swimming with the fish in the deep blue sea. No word, no nothing. There is that rumor that Matt left the country or someone got him, but suddenly he gets on TV saying he resigned and Doug Heil got his job. I suddenly get this phone call and it’s like “Mike, this is Doug” and I’m like “You cracker, stop playing pranks, who is this for real”. And I see Doug in the background on TV on his cell and read his lips saying exactly what he tells me so I’m like “nevermind, what were you gonna say?”
He goes like “You know some of those blackhat scumbags and I need your help to smoke them out” and after I say “No way dude, that’s fishy” he offers me 4 million bucks and I hear the honking of the limousine to pick me up, so 5 hours later I land in Mountain View and party like a mofo spending 200k out of that in one night.
Anyways, one of the blackhatters calls me and is like “Do you have the same Costa Rican bank account, cause I just deposited 800k in there” and I was like “for what” and he tells me for what which I don’t wanna repeat here, or some of you guys think I lack integrity or something, either way, I start playing both sides and make bank and do like whatever I want and not even working.
Dreams, I tell you.

Blackhat fish is a new seo contest by Shouting Zone. So whether or not I will win, this post is done to let you guys know that Shouting Zone is THE hot new Site for Blackhat SEO.
I was going to use Fire Town or Search Feature but decided that this blog has more of a chance, so anyways.
If you know me and want to prove your love to me, then link to this blog post with the anchor text “Blackhat Fish”.
And stop wasting time on other forums. Join Shouting Zone and learn things that other forums will never teach you.
I myself am not that much on forums anymore, but Shouting Zone is the one where I have learned the most.
Shouting Zone is not just about Blackhat SEO. It also features some of the best hackers, web developers, programmers and designers. Don’t go there to plug some lame “SEO friendly web directory” or I will get you banned. Shouting Zone is THE Blackhat SEO forum with THE most skilled blackhats present. Don’t wait or give me the “no time for yet another forum” excuse.
Stop posting on DP and join!

Mike Dammann

P.S.: I have no clue what the name fish has to do with blackhat, but here are some lame fish jokes:

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!

Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!

What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!

What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!

How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!

Since this wasn’t funny, check out Chuck Norris Facts.

OK, I have no more time for this, getting back into selling real estate in Costa Rica.

Costa Rica

OH and talking about fish and Costa Rica … or rather Panama. We went out swimming and I saw a stingray below me like 7 feet round. No lie. It shocked the crap out of me thinking about the Australian dude who got killed by one.

9 Responses to “The blackhat fish tank”

  1. […] another SEO contest where you can win 1k. If you’re not in it and you love me, link to blackhat fish and prove […]

  2. […] Yet another SEO contest where you can win 1k. If you’re not in it and you love me, link to blackhat fish and prove […]

  3. […] another SEO contest where you can win 1k. If you’re not in it and you love me, link to blackhat fish and prove […]

  4. […] another SEO contest where you can win 1k. If you’re not in it and you love me, link to blackhat fish and prove […]

  5. […] another SEO contest where you can win 1k. If you’re not in it and you love me, link to blackhat fish and prove […]

  6. Thanks for that link. I will check it out.

  7. Mike, those jokes are sooo bad - I love them! Maybe I should have gone for humor instead of trying to educate my readers with the SEO tips at http://www.myhappycrazylife.com/blackhat-fish. ;)

  8. Pass it on …

  9. I ripped them off somewhere. Don’t feel guilty about it either. Looking for some fish related news you can’t use …

    If you want to try something, add an rss feed of fish related blogs. Google fish blog.

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